The Occupational Therapist

Weight checks continued, and progress was slow at best. Nurse H. had determined by trying to get Bebe to suck on a latex glove, that she did not know how to suck, and that she would need to go to a few sessions with the occupational therapist in order to learn. This was very surprising to me. I had no idea that some babies had to be taught how to suck. I was even more surprised that this had not been talked about sooner. One other thing troubled me too. She seemed to suck just fine on her terms, and when she wanted to eat. I pushed these thoughts aside. I took Nurse H.'s advice, and said that I would call for an appointment as soon as we got home.
Well I didn't have to call the occupational therapist, because she called me as I was pulling into my driveway. She told me that everything had been set up. She told me that they had set up the appointments for the next day. We needed to be there a little before 2:00 P.M. and I should feed Bebe at 12:00, but if she got hungry between the feedings I should not feed her. I really wasn't worried about her getting hungry between feedings. I was a little irritated that Nurse H. had called for and made our appointment for us. I felt like she didn't trust me enough to make my own appointment. I also though it was strange how quickly she had set everything up. Was there something seriously wrong with my child, something that couldn't wait a few days,or even a twenty minute car ride for me to call personally. If there was something scary wrong why hadn't H. told me what it was. Now I was worried. As I prepared for our post doctors office visit routine(put Bebe down for a nap, take a shower, and cry like a baby) I couldn't help but notice that she was sucking on her bottle. I thought to myself,'I think she knows how to suck, but what do I know. I'm just her mother.'
We were about 15 minutes early for the appointment, and had time to fill out all the paper work. Then we were led up stairs to the pediatric area. We went into a room with a padded floor, and told to get comfortable. Soon the therapist Missy walked into the room. She was a curly haired ray of sunshine with a bright smiling face. I liked her instantly.
First she grabbed a glove, and looked into Bebe's mouth. She poked her finger inside, just as Nurse H. had done the day before. Bebe made a face, and extracted the finger in the same way she did the day before. Missy turned to me and asked,"Is that how H. tested to see if Bebe could suck?" I said yes. She laughed lightly. Then she explained that Nurse H. had called her and was very concerned about my little baby. She removed the glove, washed her hands. Then she walked back over to Bebe, and poked the same finger in her mouth. This time Bebe latched right onto Missy's finger. Missy said,"This makes my job much easier. Bebe knows how to suck, but babies, like most people, do not like the taste of those awful gloves. Bebe is healthy and alert. I really think that everyone is over reacting, but let's just see what she does with a bottle." I handed the prepared bottle to Missy, and she held Bebe, and Bebe drank her usual 2 ounces at her usual rate. When the bottle had been drained of half it's contents she stopped eating, and spit out the bottle. Missy then took her over to the rocking chair, and tried to feed her more, but Bebe wasn't having it. She began trying to burp her, and encountered the same difficulty I always had. Eventually Bebe burped, and Missy tried to feed her again. Bebe began to cry. Missy asked if this was normal I said it was. We tried a number of different nipple styles, but Bebe would not take any of them. After struggling this way for about a half hour Missy said, "Bebe will not eat more because eating more makes her tired. She doesn't want to be full, because she knows that she will become sleepy. I don't think that this is a feeding issue. Yes, she is small, and it is true that she doesn't drink enough, but it isn't because isn't able to eat more, or she isn't capable of eating more. It isn't because she doesn't know how to eat. She doesn't finish her bottle, because she doesn't want to finish her bottle. This is a control issue." I was freaking out, I asked, "My two month old child and I have a control issue? Is that possible?" Missy laughed, "Yes, control issues are always present. They don't just happen when a child turns one, or three, or whatever. Control issue start at birth. It is all up to you, and you need to stay strong. Because these control issues will pop up again, and again. You need to be sweet and caring, but never give in. Try to get her to drink the whole four ounces every time. If it is just to hard stop at three, but never give in at two." I laughed a little and I said, I am stubborn. I never give in at two ounces. She then asked me to show her how I got Bebe to finish a bottle. I grabbed Bebe, and went straight for the rocking chair. I began rocking back and forth while at the same time patting a slightly quicker rhythm on her back. Bebe finished the bottle in a few minutes. I then told Missy that in two hours time Bebe and I would be fighting this same fight again. Missy thought that was ridiculous, and told me to feed Bebe on demand, and make sure that she never went more that four hours between feedings. She also told me that she was impressed that I was able to get Bebe to drink her entire bottle. I asked her what I should do about those dreadful 2 and 4 A.M. feeding when she just didn't want to eat at all. Missy said I should eliminate the 2 A.M., and then after a while and after receiving the OK from H. just let her sleep through the night.
I left Missy's office feeling confident. I knew there would be no crying this day. I knew that I was a good mother, and that I was on the right path, and all because of
Missy. This is one woman who is really good at her job, and although we never had to go back to her for feeding issues, she kept in touch and checked on Bebe often. If I ever need to take A child to an occupational therapist again I know exactly where I am going.

My Six Week Appointment

Bebe's endless weight checks continued, and we were getting very used to spending long days in long lines just waiting for our turn to come. and then the moment I had been half waiting for and half dreading finally arrived. It was time for my six week appointment. Yes the far distant date set at the time of Bebe's birth had finally arrived. I kept telling myself that I would weigh myself, and start exercising just as soon as I had my 6 Week Appointment. I went to my doctors office, and was in and out in about thirty minutes. It was determined that I was healthy, healed, and ready to go.
Bebe and I went home, and soon it was time for her nap. When she had drifted off. I went into the bathroom, and prepared to meet my nemesis, the scale. I really had no idea what to expect. I finally took the plunge, and stepped on with both eyes closed. I tilted my head down, and began to open one eye. The number looking back at me was a total shock. I opened the other eye just to make sure I had read it right. I had. The number was 125.5. I was baffeled. I didn't need to loose 20 or more pounds. As usual I had made things so much worse than they really were. I was only a few pounds away from my prebaby(preBebe) weight.
Then I took the next step. I hadn't looked at my stomach since that day in the hospital. Now was as good a time as any. I looked in the mirror, and yes my stomach was slightly bigger than it had been, and I was just a little bit on the flabby side, but I felt great, and I looked pretty good too.
I decided to try so gentle walking, and lifting, just to see if I could do it. I grabbed the baby monitor, and went out into the garage where we had a little home gym. I found that I was in really good shape, and I was so very grateful. I once again felt overpowered by emotion. Was there anything this body couldn't do if I treated it kindly? I knew that I was blessed.

Let's Try This Again

I can't believe how long it has been since I posted to this blog. As I was reading it today a few things became very clear. I am a great starter of projects, but a terrible finisher! I also realized that I do need to finish this blog as a record of the life of my young daughter. I hope that someday in the distant future she can read the things I have written about her, and just maybe understand how much I love her. So yes, I will be posting, and posting a lot. I would love to complete, no to get caught up by April when she will have her 3rd birthday. Time truely does fly when you are having fun!