Feeding Time

It was time for Bebe to see a pediatrician, so a nurses took her from me. I really didn't want to let her go all by herself, so I asked my husband if he would go with her. Yes, we were just a little paranoid about baby snatchers, and had made a vow before we ever entered the hospital. One of us would be with our daughter at all times. As they left the room, it was time for me to get moving. I didn't need any help getting to my feet, and was easily able to walk on slightly wobbly legs. I was able to get cleaned up a little, and then I got into a wheelchair, and was taken to a recovery room.
I have mentioned that the pain was minimal, and really it was. I had been offered pain medication on several occasions, and turned it down flat. I really didn't see the need for it.
As we turned the corner I could see my family at the far end of the hall. They were all standing around my little girl who was being given a bath by the pediatrician. As they wheeled me up the doctor told me that she was very healthy, very alert, and very beautiful. I was glad to hear it all. Then we entered my recovery room. I was surprised to see that it was light outside, and not just light, but it was getting close to dusk. Everyone was very eager to hold Bebe. In the birthing room only my husband, her grandmothers, and I had been given this privilege.
As I have said, my brother, and his wife drove about five hours, and had been waiting all day to see us. They both had to work the next day, so my brother was the first to hold her. As he took my daughter, his very first niece, into his arms his eyes welled up with tears. Before having Bebe I always thought that brand new babies looked a little like aliens, and my brother has always known this to be one of my opinions. He said, "She is so beautiful. Do you think she looks like an alien?" I said no, and since having my own child I see that beautiful innocence in all babies. Being a mother changes everything.
As my brother, and his wife held Bebe I could see it in their eyes, they were both goners. I knew it wouldn't be too long before they had a little one of their own.
After holding the baby everyone started to leave. My husband was staying with us, but he walked everyone out to their cars, and thanked them for being there.
While he did this I got a snack and a big jug of water, and settled in for another feeding. This time Bebe and I were on our own. She was eager to latch on, but something was wrong. This time it was incredibly painful. We tried again, and again, and again, but it just wasn't right. I won't go into tall the gory details, but everything about the way she was latching on was wrong.
I decided to call a nurse before I did any real damage. When she came into my room I sensed that I might have problems as she said,"What do you need now?" What did she mean? I hadn't called her before. I shook it off and proceeded to ask for help. I explained that I didn't think that my daughter was latching on properly, and I needed help. She watched as I attempted to latch her on. Again she latched on, but in a very painful way. The nurse said,"So what is the problem?" I said that she wasn't latched on properly because I was in so much pain. She then said,"Well Sweat heart, I'm afraid I have bad news, She is latched on properly, and if you want to breast feed her you are just going to have to toughen up."
What I thought: Toughen up! Really! I just went through 30 hours of back labor, the last six in complete silence, including a completely silent birth, and you are telling me to toughen up!
What I said: Really, because in the books I have read it says that it will be uncomfortable, but not painful, and look, when I break the suction the area looks pinched, and flat not round, and elongated.
She looked, but she already had her mind made up that I was a huge baby, or maybe she just didn't know anything about breast feeding. She said,"It looks fine to me. It's time to toughen up." Then she began to leave the room. I stopped her. I thought she must be right. I thought she must know what she was talking about so I decided to push through, and take her advice, but if breast feeding was going to be this painful I was going to need some pain medication. I asked the nurse to bring me some. She rolled her eyes, and said,"You can't have any, because they gave you some right before you left your birthing room. You have to wait eight hours." Now I was getting angry. I tried to remain as polite as possible. I said, "No, they tried to give me pain medication before I left the birthing room. I turned it down, because I didn't need it. If breast feeding is going to be this painful I want the medication." She rolled her eyes again, and said she would check into it. She came back about five minutes later with the medication, and her attitude was even worse. If anyone had the right to be snotty it was me! I was right she was wrong! As she was leaving the room she turned and said, I want you to look at the clock on the wall, because it will be eight hours before you can have any more pain medication." I was stunned by the way she was acting.
Through the night the feedings continued, each more terribly painful than the one before. Each time I called for help. I didn't always get Nurse Snotty, but everyone assured me that my baby was latched on properly in spite of my complaints. I tried to explain that this pain was much worse than any other pain I had ever had. It was worse that all the hours of back labor, it was worse than actually giving birth. It was in fact the most terrible pain I had ever experienced, and I couldn't get anyone to believe me.