Going Home

That night as I drifted in and out of an uneasy sleep, I heard a little coughing sound. I was startled to a completely nervous state. I looked over into the bassinet, and saw that Bebe's mouth was covered with formula. I, being a first time mom, freaked out just a little bit. I jumped to my feet, and walked around to pick her up. I grabbed the bulb syringe, and began removing the rest of the vomit from her mouth. More was coming out. She was like a slowly flowing fountain of slightly soured formula. I tipped her on her side, and then I noticed that she was also laying in a pool of vomit. What? She had only drank at most an ounce of formula. How could so little going in look like so much coming out? I called the nurses station, and told them the problem. A very sweet nurse came in to help me clean Bebe up. I remember that I was talking really fast, and I asked her why she was throwing up, and if there was something wrong. I then felt all the blood drain from my face, as I had a new thought. What if I hadn't heard her tiny little cough? She surely would have drowned in her own vomit while her mother was sleeping only 12 inches away! I voiced my concern, almost before I finished having the thought. I was in full panic mode, when the nurse said with a very sweet smile, "Kaysie, do you see that she in laying in some of the spit up?" Yes, of course I showed her that. "O.K. So that means that she did throw up while you were sleeping. And look what Bebe did. She just turned her head, and let it roll out of her mouth." Then she said, "Relax, and I'll tell you a little secret about babies. First they want to live, and second babies are much smarted than people think. Everything is alright." Then she smiled and left the room. This Mother Thing was going to be tricky.
The next morning while the nurses were busily working to prepare for my departure, I decided to drag myself into the shower. I am the first to admit that I am a vain woman. Yes, I dress up to go to Walmart. I know it is an illness, but admitting it is the first step to recovery. Right? However, I went into the hospital with a completely naked face, and during my stay I did not fix my hair. I did not wear any makeup. I did nothing to beautify my appearance. I did brush my teeth four or five times each day, and I'm not sure why I was doing this. I didn't care how I looked, but I just couldn't seem to get rid of that dirty mouth feeling. I had taken a very brief shower, and washed my hair the day before, other than that I had done nothing vain during my stay.
I climbed into the shower, and took of my hospital gown, and made what I feel was a crucial mistake. I looked down. There I saw the shattered remains of what had once been my glorious flat nicely sculpted stomach. Now it was in flabby ruins. My belly button was a wide yawning hole seeming to cry out,"What have you done to me!" I took a breath, and said,"It is worth it." I vowed then and there that I would not look down, or think about the state of my body for the next six weeks. I would not go anywhere near a scale, and I would not exercise until my doctor gave me the O.K. at my six week appointment.
I got cleaned up, brushed my hair, and of course my teeth. Then I got dressed, and put on my makeup. With eyeliner securely in place I felt a bit more like myself. I relaxed, and waited to see Bebe's doctor.
He came into the room, and checked everything out. her jaundice was at a higher level than the day before. I might be wrong, but it seemed like she was at a fifteen. He said that if it got up to 19 she would have to come in to the hospital, and may have to stay for treatment. He also said that he wasn't too worried about that, and said the we would have to take her to the lab for blood work the next day. I told him that we had scheduled an appointment with Nurse H., his nurse practitioner, for a well child visit on Thursday. He said that was great, and that he was looking forward to having Bebe as a patient.
For anyone who knows my husband you also know that he is not the type of person who waits for anything. We were supposed to check out at noon, but at 11:15 he began to get restless. I was able to keep him calm, and quiet by saying that I wasn't ready to go, because the baby wasn't dressed yet. With the help of him, and my mother we got the baby ready to go. She was not a preemie or a small baby. She was not low birth weight, but my aunt, the same one who had witnessed Bebe's birth had also given her an adorable tiny preemie out fit to wear home form the hospital. It was a little white top and pants with little pink, and yellow flowers, and ruffles on the bum. My husbands sister had sent her the most adorable little pink booties, they looked like maryjanes, and although they were so tiny Bebe's feet were lost inside them. We brushed her hair, and put a little cap on her tiny head. Then we swaddled her in a pink and white checkered receiving blanket. After she was all dressed and wrapped she looked like a little caterpillar with enormous eyes, and so she was given the nickname of Bebe Bug.
Now it was 11:30, and my husband no longer distracted was ready to go again. He went and got the car, and brought it to the loading zone. Then he came back, and said to get all my stuff we were going. I took my time packing things up, and he and my mother took everything down to the car. He was ready to go so we headed to the nurses station. When we got there they were surprised. One nurse laughed and said,"Most of the moms have to be dragged from their rooms, and you guys are telling us to stop dragging our feet." Then they explained that we needed to sign a few more papers, and then we would have to wait for a wheel chair. My husband thought this was really silly. He said,"Kaysie is tough she can walk." Then they explained that yes, I could, but I had to be the one to carry the baby, and I had to carry her in her car seat, not in my arms. My husband quickly answered,"That's O.K. She can do it." I was stunned. Did he not realize what I had just went through? Did he not witness the birth of our child? I was exhausted form the walk down the hall, I was about ready to pass out just from standing there signing papers! I told the nurse that I would gladly wait for the wheel chair. She walked away to get it, and my husband said,"How do you think you are going to take care of the baby if you can't even walk to the car?" I calmly said,"Why do you think my mother is here? Why do you think she is staying for a week? I need help right now." We waited for the wheelchair, and he apologised for thinking I was super woman.
After being wheeled down to the car, and strapping the baby in we were off. We took Bebe home for the first time. It was so strange. Just a few days earlier my husband, my mother, and I drove to the hospital in the dark still night. Now we drove home, my husband, my mother, my baby, and I in the light of day. It seemed like an eternity since we left for the hospital. We Got to the house, and took a few pictures of her homecoming. Then we entered the house, and took her to the room which we had prepared for her. She met her kitty brothers, and we settled in for the ride of a lifetime.