My Inquisition

It is true that I have been called the queen of useless information. If there is little or no practical use for a bit of information, chances are I know it. As I was waiting for my epidural everyone in the birthing room began to put this to the test, by asking me one irritating question after another.
Q: How much money, in change, did you save up for spending money when we went to Rome?
A: $627.50
Q: What did you wear on our third day in Rome?
A: An aqua shirt, silver belt, my favorite sexy skinny jeans, may they rest in peace, and my beaded silver four inch wedge heels.
Q: What was the name of the metro stop where we exited the second to last day of our trip?
A: Circo Massimo
Q: What was the name of that one building, you know the big white one. With the steps?
A: The Vitoriano, the monument to Victor Emanuel II the first king of united Italy, also called the typewriter steps, and the wedding cake.
Q: What is the capital city of Bulgaria?
A: Sophia
Q: If Troy where to be found, in what modern day country would we find it?
A: Turkey
Q: How tall was the light house in Alexandria Egypt reported to be?
A: What?
Q: Who was the last ruler of Egypt, under the Ptolemaic Dynasty?
A: Cleopatra
Q: What is the elevation of Mexico City?
A: Are you kidding me?!
Q: Name an Inquisitor General from the Spanish Inquisition?
A: Torquemada?
Q: Can you spell that for me?
A: No!
Q: What is the population of San Paulo, Brazil?
A: Why do you need to know?! Am I really supposed to know these things!
I would not understand this crazy line of questioning for several months. I thought that everyone was losing their minds. When really they were trying to distract me. It worked, I wasn't sitting round thinking,'when will the anaesthesiologist get here?' I was thinking,'When will these people shut up?'
Then relief. The anaesthesiologist enter the room. I was time to really get this show on the road, as my mother would say. As things were being prepared, My husband was standing on my right side holding my hand, and my mother was standing on the left. My husbands was watching the anaesthesiologist, and his eyes became very big. He seemed to go just a bit pail too. Then his mother stepped over, and tried to whisper to him, but was speaking loud enough for everyone to here. She said," You really need to remain calm right now, because they are going to put that thing in Kaysie's back, and it is going to be very painful. She might even scream, and you need to be strong." I felt a little smile on my lips, as I thought to myself. I can here you.
Then my mother who knew what I was thinking whispered to me,"You have always been good at following directions. You need to use this gift right now. Listen to the anaesthesiologist, and do exactly what he tells you to do." Funny I had never thought of my ridged regard for rules, and directions as a gift. I just thought it was something that stood in the way of my creativity. This gave me something to think about. Also I had read all about epidurals, and I knew what was going to happen. I also knew that they would give me a local anaesthetic to numb the area, before they did anything that might otherwise be considered painful. Knowledge is definitely power.
In my mind the epidural was the be all end all. I thought once it was given I would be blissfully unaware of any pain. I would float through labor. I was wrong of course.
Soon after the epidural my doctor came to check on me, and she said that she would like to start patosine(spelling?). This would make the contractions stronger, and speed things up.
After the doctor left my mom received a phone call. My brother who lived about five hours away from me was about an hour from our home. I was shocked. I had almost forgotten that he and his wife were making a trip out to see us on Sunday, April 27. They were coming out whether I had the baby or was still waiting. They were coming if I just got home from the hospital, or was still in the hospital. They planned to be at our house by 12:00 Noon. Could they really be almost there? They were.
I really didn't have long to think about it because another contraction hit. I was shocked be the intensity. I couldn't feel anything from the waist down, so how was it possible that my back was still in excruciating pain? This is when the silent birth idea came back into my mind. I told my self repeatedly, "inhale, exhale, relax the face." I was silent from this point on. I had only these thoughts, "inhale, exhale, relax the face". Since I was silent, it was hard for the others in the room to tell when and if I was having a contraction. They had to look at the monitor at first. Then they began to notice that every muscle in my arms would tense, and my breathing was slower, and more controlled. Soon and without me saying anything everyone was silent, and when the contractions came the entire room was breathing in unison.